Creating From the Non-Self

The Quotations I put on the Homepage here are touchstones for why I choose to pursue the life of an artist. Mark Rothko said “I don’t express myself in my paintings. I express my non-self.” I think artists in any realm can relate to a prevalent misunderstanding of expressionism that mistakenly assumes a real experience is merely a premeditated assertion of the mind. Through my own artistic process I’ve learned that when my work is preconceived the quality of the work is compromised. I’ve also noticed this can happen in degress when I have failed to successfully abandon my ego.

Most everyone is familiar with the Michalangelo trope about looking for marble that contained his subject and then freeing that subject into the world through the process of sculpting. I imagine that it was only by engaging his tools that he entered into that egoless state that felt like the figure inside the marble was reaching out to him. Artists at work can feel their creations pulling at them. The process requires you to step aside to allow the creation to harness all your skills and faculties, minus judgments of the ego, to birth itself into the world. My own thought about this is that consciousness is always looking for suitable portals through which it can emerge into our mostly unconscious lives. Anyone that is soulful, attentive, open and curious can develop a relationship with this conscious realm that allows them the privileged to be used as a conduit for creation. These people are called artists and they use an amazing array of different tools. Actors speak about having no memory of a breakthrough performance because they had totally abandoned their illusion of being in control. Great musical performances are often improvised and even classical orchestral music is always a very specific experience of the interaction of musicians. Each performance invites the mystery of creation that makes it unique from every other.

Spaceship Vs Thomas the Tank Engine

To engage in creating art means you’ve entered a process where the outcome is indeterminate. Occasionally someone will ask me “How did you come up with that?” referring to one of my manipulated photo expressionist pieces. The answer is “I didn’t.” From the second something in the world captivates the attention of my camera to a finished piece, I am simply walking down an uncensored path of intuition that leads into the creative state. If I stay engaged I will begin to be pulled by forces beyond the control of my ego. Each next step in the process is entirely determind by the previous step, until the thing itself, whatever it is, has worked itself into existence by extinguishing my mind and engaging my heart and curiosity. Just like a dancer whose choreography has become body memory, or a musician who doesn’t have to think about the individual notes, this freedom to embrace emotional spontaneity requires ingrained skills from years of practice and trial and error. It’s a beautiful irony that you have to use your mind to develop the skills which will eventually allow you the freedom to ignore them and allow creation to flow.